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Getting the Call
Getting the Call is a special episode of Red vs. Blue where one of the Blood Gulch crew will be selected for the job of Master Chief's understudy. It, like New Digs, was filmed in the Halo 3 beta. Characters Red Team *Sarge *Grif *Simmons Blue Team *Church *Tucker *Tex Synopsis Sarge calls Church, Tucker, Grif, and Simmons together to explain Master Chief's image needs protection and that a new understudy will be chosen. After explaining the various criteria each candidate was judged on, Sarge eventually reveals the new understudy to be Tex. As compensation, he offers the others roles as stunt doubles with screen tests consisting of them being shot or blown up. Transcript Fade in to Sarge standing in front of Grif, Simmons, Tucker, and Church. Sarge: 'All right men; and Blue Team. I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today. ''(no one says anything) ''I said I suppose your all wondering wh- '''Church: '''Okay fine, why did you call us here? '''Sarge: '''Command has issued a priority one directive. As you all know, Master Chief is a big star now, so the boys upstairs want to make sure his image is protected. '''Grif: '''What a surprise. '''Tucker: '''Yeah, I suppose saving the universe three times didn't make him famous enough. '''Sarge: '''The powers that be are concern if something happened to the Chief during his publicity tour, it could jeopardize the entire Halo franchise. '''Simmons: '''Why are they worried now? Wasn't he in more danger when he was fighting aliens in space? '''Sarge: '''Of course not! Being a primary charcater in a huge franchise is much more dangerous. '''Church: '''Yeah, just look at what happened to Orlando Bloom. '''Grif: '''What happened to Orlando Bloom? '''Church: '''I read on the internet that he died while shooting ''Lord of the Rings. 'Simmons: '''No he didn't! '''Church: '''Why did they have to make a digital copy of him to finish the movie? '''Grif: '''Oh shut up! What about all the other movies he's been in since then? '''Church: '''Well obviously they all hired WETA, duh! '''Simmons: '''Okay then tell me, then how did I see him in ''Us magazine kissing Kate Bosworth? Your telling me a digital person is dating a real girl? 'Church: '''Nah, she's a muppet. You can totally see the strings. '''Simmons: '''Your an idiot. '''Church: '''Hey, I'm not the one reading ''Us magazine. '''Grif: '''Why do we care about this anyway? He's always been the big star. We're just the multiplayer guys. '''Sarge: ''(groans) You don't understand Grif, Chief's going to be very busy. After the game comes out, he's still got to do promotions. ''Cut to a picture of Master Chief sitting next to Jimmy Kimmel. Sarge: Endorsements. Cut to another picture of Chief in an ad standing next to a box which says "All purpose food nipples". Sarge: I understand he even has his own line of fragrances coming out. A picture of Chief next to a perfume bottle reading, "Spartan". Sarge: Oooh la la. Grif: '''What does it have to do with us? Did command send a memo just to rub our noses in it? He's got his own game, he even get's his own action figures. '''Church: '''They're even naming the Seattle airport after him. '''Grif: '''Goddamn it! '''Tucker: '''Aw who cares. Who wants all that attention anyway? '''Grif: '''I agree. '''Sarge: '''No, with all that extra work, they're looking for an understudy for the big guy. '''Tucker: (excited) Understudy?! I'm in! Pick me! Grif: 'Me too! '''Tucker: '''Called it first, you heard it! '''Church: '''Does that mean what I think it means? '''Sarge: '''That's right boys, this is the call. One of us has the potential shot, at possibly in, a position to, in the very unlikely event of some impossible cataclysm, having the opportunity to, qualify for an addition for a role of, understudy the Master Chief. But no guarantees. '''Church: '''It's like we're already- '''Sarge: '''Born in Vermont. '''Simmons: '''It's the moment I've always dreamed of! '''Tucker: '''Come on Sarge! Who'd they picked? '''Sarge: '''The fellas upstairs said they based their decision on a strict set of requirements. '''Grif: '''Requirements? Oh no, I'm never good at those. '''Sarge: '''They wanted someone tough. '''Simmons: '''I'm tough! '''Grif: '''You? You cry if you miss an episode of ''Desperate Housewives. 'Simmons: '''Well if you miss one your lost! Is it my fault they make the show so damn serial?! '''Sarge: '''They needed someone with incredible reflexes. '''Church: '''I have an awesome gag reflex, does that count? '''Sarge: '''It means you have to be able to act without thinking. ''The Reds and Blues stand in silence. 'Sarge: '''Well I'm sure you all did very well in that category. ''A picture of Cortana appears next to Sarge. 'Sarge: '''You also have to be able to work with a female partner, in a ''mature manner. '''Grif: '''Meow! '''Tucker: '''I wouldn't mind studying under her. '''Sarge: '''And lastly you have to be willing to face unbeatable foes, against insurmountable odds. '''Church: '''No problem. '''Sarge: '''And win. '''Church: '''Oh. Yeah that would be a problem. '''Grif: '''I've done the impossible. '''Tucker: '''Yeah right! When? '''Grif: '''Clearly you've never had to stay awake during one of Sarge's team building meetings. '''Sarge: '''Come on you love those! Those sessions are the glue that holds our team toge- '''Grif: ''(snores)'' Sarge: 'Well it doesn't matter, the decisions been made. The new understudy will be, Tex. ''Tex walks in on the group. 'Tex: '''And, I think we can all agree that's an excellent choice. '''Sarge: '''Yup, she's tough. '''Simmons: '''But she's just a girl. '''Sarge: '''Don't worry boys there's still plenty of parts for everybody! Master Chief's gonna need a lot of stunt doubles! '''Church: '''Stunt doubles? '''Sarge: '''Now get ready for your screen tests! Take one! ''The video stops and begins again. '''Master Chief STUNT DOUBLE. SCREEN TEST #1 Cut to Church standing by himself. Church: 'Screen test?! W-wait! What w-what are my- what are my lines?! '''Sarge: '(Inaudible) A sniper shot hits Church's head '''Church: OW! The video stops and begins again. Master Chief STUNT DOUBLE. SCREEN TEST #2 Simmons: 'What's the motivation in this scene? ''Simmons is hit by a rocket. 'Simmons: '''OW! '''Sarge: '''I want to see more agony! See if you can't throw your limbs further from your body! ''The video stops and begins again. '''Master Chief STUNT DOUBLE. SCREEN TEST #3 Grif and Tucker are standing next to each other. Sarge: '''Alright boys this next shot's kinda complicated! I need everybody to line up their groins! '''Grif and Tucker:'' (complaining indistinctly'') Tucker and Grif begin to move around in protest and panic as the screen fades to black. A sniper shot is then heard. 'Grif and Tucker: '''OW! '''Sarge: '(voice only) Take two! (new take) Take thirteen! (new take) Take eighty-five! (new take) Take four thou- aw what the hell, just shoot him! (chuckles) Video Category:Episodes Category:Special Episode